The weekly sports page of record · Price: one waiver claim
You Don’t Know Ball
Gameweek 8Sunday, 25 October 2026IYSSYS 6.0 · No. 8
This edition was corrected on October 27 at 4:50 PM ET: 7 figures were wrong as first printed; it was also updated for an official Fantrax score correction. The corrections are listed at the foot of the page.
7-1 FC lead the league in points scored with 977.25, a full 123 ahead of the next-highest total. The reigning champions have apparently retained the premises.
Slimey FC have conceded 904 points, the league’s highest total, while scoring 649.5. The schedule has been cruel, though not solely responsible.
WhiteCastle United rank fourth in points scored at 811.25 but sit 3–5. This is the less charming side of matchup timing.
The Lion King’s perfect lineup would not have improved on the submitted one. In a week full of reserve regret, one team completed the form correctly.
Crème Internazionale C.F. claimed Mount on October 25 and immediately received 13 reserve points. Judgment is deferred; the scoring has at least begun.
Van Hecke’s 20.5 accounted for most of Declan Rice FC’s 27 reserve points. The oversight was rendered harmless by a 36.25-point victory.
𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 scored 112.75 and still lost. Respectability remains a poor substitute for favorable scheduling.
Prices as they stood Tuesday, October 27 at 8:30 PM ET. The desk reprices as team news lands.
The desk’s record this season: 21 of 35 calls right (60%).
All prices courtesy of the desk bookmaker · bets void where prohibited, which is everywhere
Obituaries
GYÖKERES, BRIEFLY OF CRÈME
Gyökeres departed Crème Internazionale C.F. on October 18. He is survived by an immediate claim from WhiteCastle United and the league’s continuing inability to leave a forward unattended. No flowers.
TONALI RELEASED
Tonali was released by WhiteCastle United on October 23. His tenure ended without ceremony, public inquiry or a forwarding address. Memorial arrangements remain subject to waivers.
PICKFORD LEAVES DECLAN RICE FC
Pickford was dropped on October 23 and leaves behind a goalkeeper slot, several old team sheets and no requirement for a collection. Services will be private.
MAINOO, DEPARTED
Mainoo’s association with Slimey FC ended on October 24. He is survived by Henderson, Ayari and a midfield that had other matters to address. No flowers, please.
ANTHONY PASSES ONTO WAIVERS
Anthony was released by WhiteCastle United on October 25. The roster spot was promptly reclaimed by other business. Condolences may be submitted through the transaction wire.
The Classifieds
Bobb — BOBB, midfielder, 23 points last gameweek. Match-winning goal included. On waivers until Tuesday, where claim order rather than speed decides.
Horníček — HORNÍČEK, goalkeeper, 20 points. Clean paperwork, recent production, no existing fantasy employer. Serious inquiries before the inevitable committee meeting.
Tel — TEL, forward, 19.5 points. Offered as seen. Goals not guaranteed, but last week’s receipt remains available for inspection.
Dedić — DEDIĆ, defender, 17.75 points. Suitable for clubs currently starting defenders with negative numbers. Collection via Tuesday’s waivers.
J.Murphy — J.MURPHY, midfielder, 17.5 points. Unattached, productive and likely to become desirable precisely after somebody else claims him.
Ask the Gaffer
“Gaffer, my team scored 112.75 and still lost. Meanwhile another club won with 69.25. Should I improve the lineup, complain to the fixtures office or begin treating points as an elaborate distraction?”
— Perplexed in the Upper Tier
The Gaffer: Improve the lineup, then complain anyway. 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚’s 112.75 met 7-1 FC’s 125.25; Hound Boys FC 🐶 beat Saca Cojones 69.25–58.75. This is not justice, but head-to-head fantasy football has never advertised itself as a court. Keep scoring 112.75 and the schedule will eventually locate somebody less organized. Probably.
The Pub Quiz
This week: Which player posted Gameweek 8’s highest individual fantasy score?
This season: Which team beat 7-1 FC 89.5–71.75 in Gameweek 5?
From the archive: Who won 175.75–148.75 on this matchweek in 2020-21?
Gabriel, with 27 points. · Slimey FC. · Snake beat WhiteCastle United.
Corrections
Ask the Gaffer. We printed: “Hound Boys FC 🐶 drew Saca Cojones on 54.75” Correct: “Hound Boys FC 🐶 beat Saca Cojones 68.75–54.75”
7-1 FC outlasts a real score. We printed: “and four midfielders joined them in double figures” Correct: “and eight starters in all reached double figures”
Transactions. We printed: “added Silva shortly before kickoff” Correct: “added Silva the day before his match”
Obituaries. We printed: “ANTHONY PASSES INTO FREE AGENCY” Correct: “ANTHONY PASSES ONTO WAIVERS”
Classifieds. We printed: “Late winner included. Available to any club prepared to act before everyone else notices the same number.” Correct: “Match-winning goal included. On waivers until Tuesday, where claim order rather than speed decides.”
Classifieds. We printed: “Collection from free agency.” Correct: “Collection via Tuesday’s waivers.”
On this matchweek. We printed: “WhiteCastle’s score would have won comfortably elsewhere” Correct: “WhiteCastle’s score would have beaten every other side that week”
Correction: Snake scored 133.5, not 134.25; Crème Internazionale C.F. scored 66.75, not 62.25; Declan Rice FC scored 103, not 102.75; Saca Cojones scored 58.75, not 54.75; Hound Boys FC 🐶 scored 69.25, not 68.75; The Lion King scored 123.5, not 125.75; WhiteCastle United scored 89.25, not 87.5; 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 scored 112.75, not 110; 7-1 FC scored 125.25, not 125.75; the margin between Snake and Slimey FC was 78.75, not 79.5; the margin between Declan Rice FC and Crème Internazionale C.F. was 36.25, not 40.5; the margin between Saca Cojones and Hound Boys FC 🐶 was 10.5, not 14; the margin between The Lion King and WhiteCastle United was 34.25, not 38.25; the margin between 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 and 7-1 FC was 12.5, not 15.75; Khalaili (Crème Internazionale C.F.) scored 7.75, not 3.75; Bogle (Crème Internazionale C.F.) scored 13, not 12.5; Gravenberch (Saca Cojones) scored 5, not 4; Richards (Saca Cojones) scored 7, not 5; De Cuyper (Saca Cojones) scored 6.75, not 5.75; Isak (Hound Boys FC 🐶) scored 17.5, not 17; Ajer (The Lion King) scored 2, not 4; Belloumi (The Lion King) scored 12, not 12.5; Muharemović (The Lion King) scored 16.5, not 16.25; Kerkez (WhiteCastle United) scored 12.5, not 11.75; Mateta (WhiteCastle United) scored 5.5, not 4.5; Virgil (Declan Rice FC) scored 15.5, not 15.25; Vuskovic (Snake) scored 1, not 1.75; Jensen (Snake) scored 4, not 5; Thiago (𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚) scored 13.5, not 13; Barcola (𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚) scored 12, not 12.5; Wirtz (𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚) scored 13.5, not 12.5; Jacquet (𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚) scored 13.75, not 12; Boscagli (𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚) scored -3.5, not -2; McBurnie (7-1 FC) scored 16, not 15.5; Groß (7-1 FC) scored 5, not 6; Crème Internazionale C.F. have scored 657.75 this season, not 653.25; Saca Cojones have scored 745.75 this season, not 741.75; Hound Boys FC 🐶 have scored 746.75 this season, not 746.25; The Lion King have scored 852 this season, not 854.25; WhiteCastle United have scored 811.25 this season, not 809.5; Declan Rice FC have scored 801.25 this season, not 801; Snake have scored 824.5 this season, not 825.25; 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 have scored 702.5 this season, not 699.75; 7-1 FC have scored 976.75 this season, not 977.25; Slimey FC have conceded 904 this season, not 904.75; Crème Internazionale C.F. have conceded 696.75 this season, not 696.5; Saca Cojones have conceded 712.5 this season, not 712; Hound Boys FC 🐶 have conceded 681.5 this season, not 677.5; The Lion King have conceded 864.5 this season, not 862.75; WhiteCastle United have conceded 835.5 this season, not 837.75; Declan Rice FC have conceded 666.75 this season, not 662.25; 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 have conceded 901.5 this season, not 902; 7-1 FC have conceded 739.25 this season, not 736.5; Snake left 7 points in reserve, not 8; 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 left 7.5 points in reserve, not 9; the week's lowest score was Slimey FC's 54.75, not Slimey FC and Saca Cojones's 54.75.